i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
