Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
