I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
