She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
