Porn is love you can see.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
