Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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