you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
