It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
