I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
