is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he just fucked me for my cheese.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
