Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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