I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I intend to get homeless drunk
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
