I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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