508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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