i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
