I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
