If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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