Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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