Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Holy sore nipples Batman
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
