kristin has been a bad kristin
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
