haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
