Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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