I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
