Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
