her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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