I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
