Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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