Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
