just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
