thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My penis needs a shock collar
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
