Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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