"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
