So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
