he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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