I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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