Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
