who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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