Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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