a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
