It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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