oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
