I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
