three words: i give head
three words: not that well
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
