Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
