quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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