420 ftw
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
