now i know why i became what i already was.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
