ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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