yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
wow bdsm is so cute
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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