No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
