If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
