I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
No subtext here. People are naked.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
