sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
