areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
