I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
