My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just gift wrapped bread.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
